CHEERLEADER: G‐O, go, Culver, go!
ALL: G‐O, go, Culver, go!
[whistle blows]
[OutKast's "The Way You Move"]
BIG BOI: ♪ Ready for action, nip it in the bud ♪
♪ We never relaxing, OutKast is everlasting ♪
♪ Not clashing, not at all ♪
♪ But see my [...] went to do a little acting ♪
♪ Now that's for anyone asking, give me one pass 'em ♪
♪ Drip, drip drop, there it goes, an eargasm ♪
♪ Now you coming out the side of your face ♪
♪ We tapping right into your memory banks ♪
♪ Thanks ♪
MILES: I hate sports.
I hate people who play them and people who watch them.
And people who don't hate people
who play them or watch them.
‐ We don't come to the games because we like sports, Pudge,
or because we think we have a chance of winning.
Our athletic teams are so bad, we don't even have a mascot.
I call us the Culver Creek Nothings.
We come because I've been kicked out of
36 games in a row, and at this point,
my audience demands it.
♪ ♪
Cornbread!
ALL: Chicken!
‐ Rice! ALL: Peas!
‐ We got higher SATs!
[cheers and applause]
[whistle blows]
‐ Enough.
‐ That is poor sportsmanship, Mr. Martin.
‐ Aren't you worried you're gonna get in trouble?
‐ Hell no.
Nobody has more school spirit than The Eagle.
He bleeds green and gold. He loves it.
Buy!
ALL: Sell! ‐ Trade!
ALL: Barter!
‐ You're much bigger, but we're much smarter!
[whistle blowing]
‐ You're out of here!
‐ Whoo!
[cheers and applause]
37!
‐ Let's go. Hit the bricks.
Come on. I'll see ya next game.
All right. Come on, guys.
Come on. Quiet down!
[whistle blows]
Be respectful. Be respectful.
SLEEPY BROWN: ♪ I like the way you move ♪
♪ Whoo ♪
♪ I love the way you move ♪
[whistle blows]
♪ I love the way, I love the way ♪
BIG BOI: ♪ The whole room fell silent ♪
♪ The girls all paused with glee ♪
[whistles blowing]
[cheers and applause]
‐ 38!
BIG BOI: ♪ Study how to ride the beat, you big freak ♪
♪ ♪
[whistle blows]
♪ ♪
[whistle blows]
♪ ♪
[whistle blows]
♪ ♪
‐ Martin, I'm warning you.
That's it, get out. ‐ Get out of here!
REFEREE: Get out. Out!
‐ 39!
THE EAGLE: Okay, here we go. Settle down. Settle down.
All right, here we go!
‐ You ever gonna ask her out?
You know that was part of the deal
when she helped you out with the jury.
It's been three weeks.
‐ Yeah.
I'm just employing
the Miles Halter seduction method.
‐ Hmm.
Which is what, you, uh, smiling shyly at her
from across the gym until you're both dead?
You know, the only thing you're worse at than smoking
is seduction.
Come on.
‐ Where are we going?
‐ Hi, guys.
‐ Hi, Lara.
SLEEPY BROWN: ♪ I like the way you move ♪
♪ Ooh, so sexy ♪
‐ Wow. ‐ [chuckles]
‐ Am I the only one who can't wait to see
where this riveting conversation will lead
Friday night?
‐ Wh‐‐what's Friday night?
‐ It's the night the two of you are going on
your first date together.
SLEEPY BROWN: ♪ I like the way you move ♪
‐ Yep.
SLEEPY BROWN: ♪ I love the way ♪
[Bobby Pickett's "Monster Mash"]
PICKETT: ♪ I was working in the lab late one night ♪
ALASKA: You have nothing to be worried about.
It's gonna be the most low pressure date of all time.
‐ Why's that?
‐ Because we're all going.
TAKUMI: Smart.
That way we can help fill the awkward silences.
‐ How do you know there's gonna be awkward silences?
‐ I've seen you and Lara try to have a conversation.
It's upsetting. ‐ Mm‐hmm.
TAKUMI: But understandable.
I mean, you have literally nothing in common.
COLONEL: Nada. ‐ That's not true.
We both agree that cosine‐based equations
are much more challenging than tangents.
‐ Ooh, the bedrock of every great relationship.
Pudge, you have been on a date before, right?
‐ Yeah, of course.
‐ How many?
‐ Um, well, in the fifth grade‐‐
‐ Post puberty.
‐ At my old school,
we went to see the Orlando Symphony,
and I sat next to Shelby Gerstein.
And we shared a box of Mike and Ikes.
‐ Mike and Ikes? ‐ Stick with silence.
‐ It'll be fine. Talk is overrated.
Human attraction is all about eye contact and pheromones.
‐ The real question is, who's my date?
‐ Your girlfriend's your date.
‐ Yeah, I knew you was gonna say something like that
and ruin the moment.
Hey, ladies!
If it ain't Abercrombie and Bitch.
‐ [scoffs]
‐ It's nice to see you too, Chip.
Come on.
‐ You just cannot help yourself, can you?
‐ This truce just feels weird.
Sure, it's nice not to have to sniff my shoes
every morning for piss, but yesterday,
Longwell held the door open for me,
and I almost punched him I was so freaked out.
Where you going?
‐ Need more Fanta. I shall return.
‐ Can you get me one?
‐ 'Sup?
‐ I'm only coming to you with this
because you helped me study for chem,
and you were cool with me cheating off you for the exam.
You guys want the truce to stay in place and so do we.
Coach said if any of us got caught
pulling any more pranks,
we'd be kicked off the basketball team.
‐ Having seen you play, it could be a blessing.
No eye contact, Hank. You know the rules.
HANK: I just got off the phone
with my old roommate, Paul.
TAKUMI: Of Paul and Marya fame, aka Trifecta Paul?
So named for being kicked out for sex, booze, and weed?
How is that dude?
‐ He only got caught because somebody ratted,
and he has a very interesting theory about who was the rat.
MR. HYDE: Karma.
The Hindus' explanation for cause and effect.
The concept evolved over centuries,
seeking to understand why man was born
and what happens when we die.
If we live a good life,
are we rewarded in the next one?
If we hurt others, what becomes of us then?
Ancient Hindus believed there's only one fate
worse than death and that was more life.
Those who live motivated by transitory pleasures,
self‐interest were destined to return to this earth.
Recycled, if you will,
forced to commence their journey
again and again and again.
Those who lived with presence, self‐examination,
they climb to a higher path of the gods.
While it's not due for some time,
I am going to give you your final exam topic now.
[chalk tapping on board]
[tranquil music]
♪ ♪
What is the most important question
human beings must answer?
♪ ♪
Choose your question wisely
and examine how Buddhism, Islam, and Christianity
attempt to answer it.
[lighter clicking]
♪ ♪
[door clangs]
ALASKA: Mi casa, su casa.
‐ We need to talk.
‐ Sounds serious.
‐ Sit down.
Paul and Marya transferred to Harsden.
Guess their basketball team is even shittier than ours,
'cause Paul's on it,
and they'll both be at the game tonight.
‐ That's great.
I miss Marya so much.
‐ I never realized how uncool I dressed until this second.
You know, you're kind of a bad friend
for not talking to me about it.
‐ Both of those shirts are completely satisfactory.
‐ I'm not going for satisfactory.
[sighs]
What did Alaska say about dressing for a first date?
I feel like I should be kind of formal,
but it is a group thing and in a gym.
So maybe not too formal.
Hey, a polo with a tie isn't a thing, right?
I'm just gonna go ask her.
‐ You do realize you're going on a date
with Lara not Alaska, right?
[door slams]
[indistinct chatter]
‐ Hey, man.
‐ Pudge.
[knock at door]
[door closes]
‐ You ready to fall in love, Mr. Halter?
‐ Do you like this?
‐ Hmm. Not yet.
[ethereal music]
♪ ♪
‐ Uh, oh. Um...I can‐‐I can do that.
I've heard you have strong feelings
about ironing and the patriarchal paradigm.
‐ I do indeed, but I like Lara.
And she deserves a man who presents well.
[iron clicks on]
‐ So, um...
what do I talk to her about?
‐ Just the same stuff you talk to me about.
‐ Yeah, but it's different with you.
‐ Get to know her.
Ask her questions.
Practice on me.
‐ Okay.
Um...
Why Alaska?
‐ Always comes up eventually.
Hmm...my mom,
she was something of a hippie when I was kid.
You know, wore oversize sweaters,
smokes a lot of pot...
and my dad, he was more of a Republican type.
So when I was born,
she wanted to name me Harmony Springs Young,
and he wanted to name me Mary Frances Young.
So on school forms and everything
up until I was seven, they named me Mary.
And then I got to choose my own name.
‐ Okay, but why Alaska?
‐ It's from an Aleut word, Alyeska.
It means "that which the sea breaks against."
And I love that.
But at the time,
I was just looking at my dad's globe,
and...and I saw Alaska up there.
And it was so big, just like I wanted to be...
And so damn far away from Vine Station, Alabama,
just like I wanted to be.
‐ Well, you're all grown up now
and fairly far away from home,
so congratulations.
‐ Getting out isn't that easy.
[door clicks open]
[door closes]
Hi!
[moans]
MILES: [clears throat]
‐ Oh.
Uh, so I‐‐um, I take it this is Jake.
‐ I think I forgot to tell you, but tonight's a triple date.
I mean, triple and a half, because Takumi's also coming.
[sighs]
Jake, this is Pudge.
‐ Hey. Heard a lot about ya.
Hope your date works out tonight,
'cause I wouldn't want you stealing Alaska
out from under me.
‐ God, you're so adorable.
‐ Oh, okay.
Um, I‐I'll see you guys at the game.
Um, bye.
[indistinct chatter]
‐ Hi. ‐ Hi.
[Lara exhales]
[soft rock music]
♪ ♪
‐ It's not too late to turn back.
You and Jake can still enjoy a nice quiet evening
away from the basketball game.
‐ But then how will Jake see how much
our beloved team sucks?
JAKE: Oh! Okay.
‐ Do you like basketball?
‐ Not really.
‐ Me too. I mean, me neither.
I‐‐I don't like it.
‐ I always see you at the games.
‐ Yeah, no, that's just 'cause The Colonel has a thing,
you know.
‐ And there's AC in the gym. ‐ Yes.
Yeah, that‐‐that too.
♪ ♪
So, why Lara?
‐ Why what?
‐ Oh, I'm sorry.
Um...why is your name Lara?
‐ Oh, um‐‐uh, my parents had the book of baby names
and they liked it.
‐ Oh. ‐ Um...
‐ Cool. That's cool.
‐ Oh, uh... [laughs awkwardly]
SINGER: ♪ I know you're tired ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I know you're tired ♪
ALASKA: Don't sit next to Lara.
‐ Why am I not allowed to sit next to my date?
ALASKA: One of us has been a girl her entire life,
and the other one has never gotten to second base.
So if I were you, I would sit down,
look cute and be your pleasantly aloof self.
♪ ♪
‐ Ah, bonsoir, bonsoir.
Uh‐‐uh...
[speaking French]
‐ [speaking French]
‐ Ah, merci, merci.
Uh...
[chuckles]
‐ So, Lee, are you learning French?
‐ Uh, un peu. Un peu.
MADAME O'MALLEY: Mm‐hmm.
‐ Uh, I've had a lot of free time
ever since Lois moved out, so...
‐ Oh.
I had no idea. I'm so sorry.
‐ Oh, no.
I, um...you know, I mean, it was a bit of a shock
when she told me that she was leaving
and actually, that she had fallen in love
with another man, so...
it's Brayden, her Muay Thai instructor.
Also my Muay Thai instructor, so that was‐‐uh...
[cheers and applause]
All right, yeah! Here we go!
‐ Go Creek Nothings! Let's go!
You guys are terrible!
Boo! Boo!
[all booing]
You suck. You suck.
You definitely suck. All y'all suck.
‐ Who's that?
TAKUMI: Travis Eastman, nicknamed The Beast
for obvious reasons.
COLONEL: Is that Paul?
He transferred to Harsden?
That's justice for you,
sentenced to attend
an even more elite private school.
‐ There's Marya.
‐ Marya! Marya!
‐ What are you doing?
‐ [sighs] She must not hear me.
[upbeat hip‐hop music]
♪ ♪
‐ [grunts]
[whistle blows]
SINGER: ♪ Plus it gets the ice cold women ♪
♪ To self‐reflect ♪
♪ Echoes of soul‐stuck cry for help ♪
‐ I'm on.
Hey, Eastman!
I heard your daddy was Bigfoot
and your mom was Chewbacca,
and y'all communicate like this:
[imitates Chewbacca's growl]
I know this may not be a good time,
but my boy Takumi here hooked up with your girl.
[laughter]
‐ Dude, I told you that in confidence.
‐ Holy shit. You were serious?
How'd you pull that off? ‐ Talk later, run now.
[whistle blows]
[whistle blowing]
REFEREE: 24, you out of here!
COLONEL: Hey, that's my thing!
Oh, shit. Pudge!
Come on.
JAKE: I have some first aid training, buddy.
You'll be all right.
‐ I am...concussed.
‐ Is he okay?
‐ I am concussed.
‐ Do you know what happened to you?
‐ Beast got me.
‐ Do you know where you are?
[Miles moans]
Triple and a half date.
‐ That's a good sign, Miles.
‐ [retches]
[Lara gasps]
[Miles grunts]
‐ [gulps]
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
JAKE: Yeah, you definitely have a concussion.
You should get to a hospital.
‐ I, uh...
I have a car.
Let me get the permission slip from the nurse
and change my clothes.
[Miles gulps]
[Jake groans]
MILES: I have a concussion.
[whistle blows]
‐ Culver Creek wins by forfeit.
‐ That's the only good call you made all night, Mr. Clean.
‐ All right, out of here.
‐ No, you out of here.
[whistle blows]
‐ Get out of here!
‐ 40! Let's go!
That's what I do!
Come here, give me some!
‐ Marya, I was waving at you. Didn't see me?
‐ Yeah, I saw you. I just don't acknowledge rats.
‐ What? PAUL: Hey!
Why don't you stay away from her, you little rat?
We know what you did.
‐ I have no idea what you're talking about.
‐ It was you. Just admit it.
Did you want a single that badly?
I was a good friend to you.
‐ It wasn't me. I swear.
‐ You were the rat this whole fucking time?
LONGWELL: I expected you to rat on us,
but your own fucking roommate‐‐
COLONEL: Hey, leave her alone.
‐ How you gonna defend her?
‐ Man, you better back up the fuck out of my face!
KEVIN: Hey, you wanna fight for a rat, huh?
EAGLE: Hey! Hey!
Is there some sort of dispute here that I can help settle?
You need to break this up right now.
‐ It wasn't Alaska. KEVIN: Bullshit.
‐ She would never do this!
EAGLE: Mr. Martin, that's enough.
COLONEL: Let's go.
‐ It's unacceptable. Now move.
LONGWELL: We're moving.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
‐ Hey, babe, don't worry. Miles is gonna be okay.
Alaska.
Hey! Slow down.
What's the matter? ‐ I can't stay here right now.
Hey, Lara's gonna be right back.
You're gonna be okay. All right?
♪ ♪
[brakes squeak]
LARA: Hospital time, Miles!
Here we go!
Okay.
‐ Am I concussed or is that a green limousine?
‐ Uh, both.
My dad owns a car service.
This one is retired from his fleet.
Okay.
MILES: I'm feeling dizziness and nausea,
symptoms commonly associated with...
‐ I know. I know.
Okay, M‐‐Miles, Miles, Miles.
You need to stay awake, okay?
Okay.
[The Colonel seething]
TAKUMI: Walk it off.
Let go of your anger.
‐ What about my anger?
‐ What are you angry about?
‐ You didn't have to do that.
COLONEL: Do what?
‐ Why is it that you always have to get involved?
‐ Those assholes were attacking her.
‐ Those assholes are my friends,
and maybe they have a good reason to.
‐ To what?
‐ Think about it.
Why would the Weekday Warriors rat on their friends?
‐ Who knows why they do anything?
‐ And you're telling me that it wasn't you or Miles
or Takumi?
‐ Sure as shit wasn't.
‐ Alaska's the one with the single now,
and she's the only one who knew that they would be in there
smoking and having sex.
‐ You seriously think she did it?
‐ Of course she did it.
But you're never gonna admit it,
because you're blinded by who she is...
or who you think that she is.
You always take her side no matter what.
‐ Come on, that's not true. Takumi, back me up.
[solemn music]
♪ ♪
[bright music]
[Alaska sighs]
You really don't have any alcohol in here,
not even a flask or anything?
‐ You stay away this weekend, bet by Monday
everyone's moved on.
ALASKA: What kind of college dorm is this?
‐ That's my roommate's closet, by the way.
He's Mormon.
‐ I absolutely fucking promise you
that no one is moving on.
Guess what they're saying about me.
It's the worst thing you can be.
‐ What, a murderer, a thief?
‐ The worst thing you can be at Culver Creek.
I just need you to stop fucking saying,
"It's not a big deal"
and that "Everything is gonna be okay,"
because it is and it's not.
‐ Okay.
[music plays softly]
‐ [sniffles]
♪ ♪
[laughs]
Was I just a raging bitch?
I don't like to use that word,
but I feel like it applies here.
♪ ♪
[whispers] I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
You're so good.
You're such a good listener.
You're so patient beyond what I or anyone deserves.
[moans]
I just need to learn how to quiet
this messed up mind of mine.
♪ ♪
‐ Don't move.
FIONA: Jake, you in there?
JAKE: Oh, shit.
‐ Oh, good, you're back. Let's go to Scarlet's party.
‐ Uh, Fiona, hey.
‐ Hi.
I'm gonna assume that Jake hasn't turned into
a giant cheating douchebag, and you're Alaska.
It's so nice to meet you.
Jake has said amazing things.
‐ You said something about a party.
‐ A proper college rager.
‐ I don't know, babe.
It's late, and you've had a rough night.
‐ Exactly. A party sounds perfect.
COLONEL: Come on, Sara.
It's a difference of opinion.
It shouldn't be the reason we break up.
‐ Alaska's the rat, dipshit.
She's dead here.
And if she's still your friend, then you're dead too.
‐ Only to your idiot fucking friends.
‐ Chip, do you know how much I give up for you
every single day?
Look, it's just us here.
So I'm not gonna tell Longwell
or Takumi for that matter,
but you can admit it to me.
Alaska's a rat. Say it!
‐ I won't.
‐ I always stand up for you.
And you...
you stand up for Alaska.
If you're not gonna pick me this one time...
I'm done.
It's over.
Okay.
You've made your choice.
‐ Sara. Sara, don't go.
I love you. Sara!
[door slams]
‐ Sorry our first date is in an emergency room.
‐ It's fine.
But you're my responsibility now,
and I take this very seriously.
At least we're alone, and I can sit next to you.
‐ Yeah.
The whole aloof thing...
was an overthink.
Not my idea, I swear.
‐ I actually really like hospitals.
They remind me of being little.
‐ Were you sick when you were a kid?
LARA: No.
Um, my father was a doctor.
MILES: Oh.
I thought he owned a limo company.
LARA: Oh, he does now.
But in Romania, he was a gastroenterologist.
He can't practice here, so now he's an entrepreneur.
MILES: Wow, that's‐‐um,
that's a totally different thing.
[chuckles]
What was it like moving here?
‐ Hard.
We left a lot of family behind
and almost all of our things.
My father, he read about "the Birmingham boom"
in a magazine, but when we got here,
it wasn't booming anymore.
There was nothing for us, not even a church.
My English was better than my parents,
which made me feel like I was the parent
and they were the kids.
‐ That‐‐that must have been kind of fun.
‐ For a minute,
but being a parent is much harder than you think.
[melancholy music]
♪ ♪
‐ You're a really cool girl
with interesting life experiences.
♪ ♪
Holy shit. Duck.
‐ Um, Miles, who are we hiding from?
‐ Hyde.
‐ I‐‐I'm hiding but from who?
‐ No, he's here. This is so awkward.
LARA: Why?
MILES: 'Cause he's at the hospital.
‐ So are we.
‐ Yeah, but he's old and sick and it's private.
‐ Well, Mr. Halter, Ms. Buterskaya.
Well, well, well.
I'd shake, but I'm fighting a bit of a cold.
Nothing serious,
but then pneumonectomy makes everything serious.
I have one lung.
The slightest cough, tiniest tickle in the throat
requires the utmost vigilance.
‐ That makes sense.
I've been concussed.
LARA: Likely not serious.
But his mother says you can never be too careful
with head injuries.
‐ Words to live by, indeed.
I'd offer to stay with you,
but they've informed me a taxi's waiting.
And, uh, I see you have much more charming company.
Enjoy this time together.
Small moments forge deep bonds.
Here we go, my dear.
MURPHY: ♪ Ow, ow ♪
[LCD Soundsystem's "Daft Punk Is Playing at My House"]
♪ ♪
♪ Well, Daft Punk is playing at my house ♪
♪ My house ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I'll show you the ropes, kid, show you the ropes ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I bought 15 cases for my house ♪
♪ My house ♪
♪ ♪
♪ All the furniture ♪
♪ Is in the garage ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Well, Daft Punk is playing in my house ♪
♪ My house ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You got to set them up, kid ♪
♪ Set them up ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You got to set 'em up, ooh, ooh, yeah ♪
♪ You got to set 'em up ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, yeah ♪
♪ You got to set them up ♪
♪ Set them up ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
DR. KIM: You know your name?
‐ Um, Miles Halter.
DR. KIM: Okay, Miles Halter, now move your eyes to the left,
towards that pretty girl over there.
Do you know her name?
‐ Alaska.
Uh, Lara.
‐ Uh, forgive him. He's concussed.
[light clicks off]
[rock music plays softly]
♪ ♪
[knock at door]
[door clicks open]
♪ ♪
TAKUMI: Whoa.
The Chi in here is really dark.
COLONEL: I need to be alone right now.
‐ Yeah, I'm glad we are.
COLONEL: I meant without you.
Look, I can see you're having lady problems,
so I'm just gonna fast forward to the real reason I'm here.
Hank told me before the game that Marya and Paul thought
Alaska was the rat.
‐ And you didn't say anything?
‐ I did, to Alaska,
and she deflected.
But much like yourself,
I wanted to believe her.
‐ And now you don't?
Because of some baseless accusation
by dumb‐as‐dog‐shit Paul?
TAKUMI: There's more.
The night Paul and Marya got kicked out,
I saw Alaska leave The Eagle's house earlier that day.
[somber music]
♪ ♪
‐ What?
TAKUMI: It didn't seem weird.
Alaska getting in trouble...
But then she never mentioned it,
and that did seem weird.
But not so weird that I felt
like I needed to make it a whole thing,
but now it is a whole thing,
so I thought I should let you know.
I've tried puzzling it every which way,
but it all adds up.
Hate to say it, but I think Paul and Marya are right.
We'll, uh, talk more later...
or not.
[door clicks open and shut]
‐ Fuck!
‐ [retching]
FIONA: You know, puking after a party
is college rite of passage.
Getting it out of the way in advance of enrolling,
you know, it's probably a good thing.
[Alaska moans]
I'm actually fine with getting falling‐down drunk
in front of my boyfriend.
It's more everything else that's happened tonight.
[sniffles]
Which never happens.
[toilet flushes]
I'm...I'm known for how well I hold my alcohol.
[light clicks on]
[faucet squeaks]
[spits]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[sniffles]
FIONA: Wanna talk about it?
You okay?
♪ ♪
ALASKA: Look at all your books.
♪ ♪
You know, I have the same thing.
My Life's Library,
all the books I'm gonna read before I die.
‐ Oh, I've read those books.
I actually don't put them on my shelf
until I finish them.
It's nerdy, I know.
‐ No.
It's the habit of a true intellectual.
You're so nice,
so pretty,
incredibly well‐read, obviously...
[exhales]
Great taste in movies...
FIONA: Alaska.
It's okay.
I'm not a threat to you.
‐ I know,
because you are a loving feminist
who doesn't compete with other women.
I can tell by the photo of your still‐married parents
that...you come from
a good, stable home.
You're gonna be a good mother,
and Jake's gonna be a great father.
‐ Alaska, what are you talking about?
♪ ♪
‐ You don't get it, do you?
You and Jake are perfect for each other.
‐ Jake and I are not together.
ALASKA: But you should be,
'cause you're both upstanding high‐end people,
high quality people who deserve other people
of the same quality.
♪ ♪
[whispers] I need to go.
‐ Okay.
I can drive you, or I can‐‐I can get Jake‐‐
‐ No, just tell him I said good‐bye, okay?
♪ ♪
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
‐ You sure there's nowhere else I can drop you?
‐ This is perfect.
♪ ♪
Thanks for picking me up
and not chopping me into pieces.
♪ ♪
Just when I thought I had lost faith in humanity.
[door clangs shut]
♪ ♪
‐ I'm glad you're going to be okay.
I was worried.
‐ Yeah, me too.
Thanks for taking care of me.
‐ Oh, it was nothing.
I liked it.
The doctor says you have to be woken up
every four hours for the rest of the night.
‐ Yeah, yeah. I can set my alarm.
‐ If you sleep in my bed, I could wake you up.
‐ Uh... Well, where would you sleep?
Oh, I'm kidding!
Yeah, that seems like medically sound advice.
We should definitely do that.
‐ Okay.
‐ [chuckles]
Hey, stop the car. ‐ What?
‐ Stop the car! Stop the car!
Alaska, what are you doing here?
‐ Miles.
Why are you in a green limo?
‐ Um, it‐‐it's‐‐it's Lara's.
I have a concussion.
The basketball game, and I‐‐I vomited
and went to the hospital.
‐ So you never...
you didn't hear?
‐ Hear what?
Are you okay?
‐ Totally.
I'm just tired...from all the sex I had with Jake.
We‐‐um, we went back to his dorm.
‐ Where is he?
Why didn't he drive you home? ‐ Christ almighty, Pudge.
Sometimes people just have their own shit, okay?
‐ Did you get into a fight?
‐ Let's just make a deal.
I get in that hideous green gas‐guzzler,
and you stop asking questions.
‐ Okay, but I don't know how that's a deal.
ALASKA: Hi.
Hi, Alaska.
[door shuts]
[brakes squeak]
EAGLE: Evening.
LARA: Hi, Mr. Starnes.
Miles is okay.
‐ Oh, happy to hear it.
You haven't seen Alaska Young, have you?
I'm looking for her.
It seems she left campus without permission.
‐ Well, we've been at the hospital, so, uh‐‐
[door clicks open]
There she is, 'cause she came with us.
‐ Go see the nurse in the morning, Mr. Halter.
[car engine starts]
[car door closes]
‐ Coming?
‐ Alaska seemed pretty upset, don't you think?
‐ I think Alaska can take care of herself.
‐ Yeah, probably.
But maybe I should just go check on her.
LARA: Miles.
My room is this way.
‐ Thanks, though, for everything tonight.
[despondent music]
♪ ♪
[low indistinct chatter]
♪ ♪
ALASKA: You said that no one would find out...
that if I did everything you said,
everything would be okay.
And it's not, because everyone knows.
This is all happening because of you,
and I need your help.
‐ Alaska, this is happening because of you.
You are in this position
because of the choices that you made.
Choice one: you brought alcohol onto campus,
which you knew was against the rules.
And when confronted with this infraction,
you had to face choice two:
work with me to identify other rule‐breakers
and bring them to justice or go home.
‐ [sniffles]
Going home isn't an option.
[sniffles]
You don't understand that.
If you kick me out of here,
I'm not gonna get another scholarship
to another good school,
which means no college.
[cries softly]
[whispers] I'll be stuck there...
in that house forever...
With him.
[solemn music]
♪ ♪
‐ Then I suggest you learn to live here.
There are worse things in life than being called a rat.
♪ ♪
MILES: Hey.
‐ Hey.
[Miles exhales]
I have a concussion.
‐ While you were concussed, you missed some shit.
Trust me, Pudge, hang on to your innocence
as long as you can.
The truth will come out soon enough.
In other news, Sara dumped me.
ANNOUNCER: Round two.
Fight!
MILES: Shit.
‐ And you wanna know what's lame, Pudge?
I really care about her.
I mean, we were hopeless,
poorly matched, but still.
I told her I love her. I lost my virginity to her.
I don't know.
We fought, like, 94% of the time.
But still...I'm really sad.
Sadder than I thought I'd be, anyway.
[Rachel Sermanni's "Take Me Out"]
SERMANNI: ♪ So if you're lonely ♪
‐ I should have been nicer to her.
SERMANNI: ♪ You know I'm here waiting ♪
‐ I don't know.
It's sad.
SERMANNI: ♪ Crosshair ♪
♪ I'm just a shot ♪
‐ It was nice, you know,
having somebody you could always fight with.
SERMANNI: ♪ You leave me broken ♪
‐ I'm an angry guy, Pudge.
What do I do with that?
‐ You could fight with me.
‐ I could never be mad at you,
you harmless skinny bastard.
SERMANNI: ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ I know I won't be ♪
♪ Leaving here with you ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I say you don't know ♪
♪ You say you don't know ♪
♪ I say ♪
♪ Take me out ♪
♪ If I move, this could die ♪
♪ Eyes move, this can die ♪
♪ I want you ♪
♪ To take me out ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Take me out ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I know I won't be ♪
♪ Leaving here ♪
♪ I know I won't be ♪
♪ Leaving here ♪
♪ With you ♪
[rain pattering]
[thunder rumbles]
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ I want you ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ I want you ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ To take me out ♪
♪ I say you don't know ♪
♪ You say you don't know ♪
♪ I say ♪
♪ Take me out ♪
♪ If I move, this could die ♪
♪ Eyes move, this can die ♪
♪ I want you ♪
♪ To take me out ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Take me out ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Take me out ♪